Southern California & Me
Laguna Beach
I have a thing about the water…I love being near it. Near it, not “on” it, I don’t think I’m a cruise person. This is, perhaps, because I’m a flatlander, a child of the Great Plains where water was a luxury. I did live close to the “mighty” Jim River in Huron but back in the day, the Jim (James) River was mostly a smelly, brown sludge run, quite the opposite of what I imagined were the cool, pure waters of the oceans. My mom’s sister and her husband (Edie and Bob) lived in San Diego in the 50s & 60s. We drove out there one summer when I was 13…I bleached my hair…Beachboys, remember. This was the first time I’d seen an ocean or any body of water I couldn’t see across. I was enthusiastic. As my Air Force career took off and my relationships did not, I pretty much lost contact with my California family. Fortunately, we reconnected in the late 1980s and took full advantage of the rest of the time we had together.
Uncle Bob and Aunt Edie were like a second set of parents who cared enough to have patience with my youthful inattention. When we got together again it was as if no time had passed since we’d last seen each other. They came to Virginia, we played golf, drank wine, laughed and had a wonderful time. In the 1990s, I had business in L.A. and flew there once a month, usually spending the weekend with them. They’d moved to the La Jolla area by then so my visits seemed “exclusive.” Smile. My business dried up in L.A. and I switched jobs with little to no travel out west so getting out there was not at the top of the financial priority list. However, my cousin invited me out in January, 2009 and then my whole family traveled out there in July. We had a blast, we reconnected…Bob & Edie and their kids, Diane and I and our kids. By then Bob & Edie had moved to Orange County and their kids (kids…hah…my age +/- 5 years) were close by. Diane’s sister and hubby lived in the high desert a couple of hours northeast of L.A. so we would go see them, too. Our first family trip we stayed with the oldest of my cousins in her gorgeous condo in Laguna Beach for a few days, she had us entranced by the area, all the art, the restaurants, the things to do. We returned for several years (not to her condo, but to Laguna). We’d visit Bob and Edie and their family for a few days and then venture off into the wonders of Southern California. I can’t tell you how much fun we had, the food, the laughs, the thrills, the scenery…all bounded by the ocean. I am sure I could always smell the Pacific and even if I couldn’t, I knew it was just a short drive away. We typically stayed at places on the beach so we didn’t have to drive. Our “stay zone” was Laguna Beach so we could go north or south and have the best of all SoCal. And then my Uncle Bob died.
I’m not very good at death. Perhaps it’s the stoic Norwegian in me, perhaps the death of many friends in the service…I don’t know. It’s strange. Diane asked the US Navy barracks for a flag that could be used in Uncle Bob’s funeral. The Navy found that Uncle Bob was on an LST at Omaha Beach and Anzio, they quickly flew a flag at the CNO’s house at the Navy Yards in his honor. My older cousin died unexpectedly a few years later. She and Diane and I had become very close since her dad passed, phone calls every week or two, she’d flown to Virginia twice, we saw each other often for living so far apart. When her brother told me she’d passed, oxygen seemed to leave.
Once in a while I go down the rabbit hole of cool places I’d like to visit and Laguna Beach usually comes to mind. I remember hot air balloons floating over gorgeous golf courses, crashing waves with exuberant surfers, clinking glasses and comforting laughter. The challenges of “The 405” were offset by the sounds of joy at Disneyland, Universal City, Venus Beach, The Zoo, Old Town San Diego and more. The peaceful missions overlooking the grand vistas of the Pacific. And I think, how cool would it be to experience all that again.
But no, going back expecting the same kind of joy we had then is a formula for grand disappointment. I have these wonderful, heart warming memories I want to treasure, not change. Things are different now. My Aunt and Uncle and two of their “kids” are gone. My “kids” are adults. I can go back to SoCal but it won’t be the same. Doesn’t mean going back would be bad, just different.