In-betweens

I have often complained about or at least spoken ill of “waiting.” I shouldn’t. The in-between time is usually not worse or better than the bookends of that time. In fact, I’ve been told that you “mustn’t skip to the end!” Which is another way of saying to pay attention to what we’re doing now and not focusing on the next milestone, end of a journey, or…well, you get my drift.

And, so here we are in-between and really enjoying the time. Family. Laughter. Games. Smiles. Great food.  I admit to overwhelming feelings of inadequacy at “Clue.” I have probably accused Mr. Mustard in the Conservatory with the wrench many more times than was prudent. All good. All fun. Even with the elephant in the room. The outpouring of love and concern and care from our friends around the world is overwhelming. We so appreciate your prayers, your attention, and your humanity.

The lesson bears repeating…don’t skip to the end, enjoy the in-betweens because that’s where the real life stuff happens.

 

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A Plan or at least the start of a plan

Off we go! All of the preliminary meetings and tests are complete and her journey picks up speed  next week. We have our emergency phone numbers, her prescriptions, and our calendars ready. Time to start! Time to kick this particular cancer from here to someplace far away. Chemo first, then several months from now,  surgery/radiation.

All the kids are here this weekend which is really cool. Perhaps we’ll play games or talk about things of days gone by or even stuff we’ll do in the months to come. Whatever, it’s great to have them here.

Diane will have surgery at the end of next week to put the port in and I’ll get the paper “logs” ready to track the drugs we do at home to minimize the agony of the chemo. Her “chemo cocktail” this time is something called TCHP which is an acronym for words that are huge and angry looking. The first session is five hours long so I’ll take computers to set up a network, cards for canasta or cribbage, books, and more. The first session will be March One. In like a lion!!

Inverted Burke Lake, VA

Inverted Burke Lake, VA

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Controlling things that can be controlled

Diane has had many tests over the last week and a half. Three biopsies, MRI, PETscan, and an echocardiogram. And yesterday, the haircut!! We went together in the rain to her stylist and I snapped as the stylist cut. And cut she did!! And cut! And… Well, you get the idea. The before and after are below. I think she looks great! Diane has to choose the chemo cocktail mix that she’ll will receive. The alternatives are slightly different for positive outcomes but the risks are also different. Lots to think about. She sees her surgeon tomorrow who will schedule surgery for a port. Then she’ll start the chemo regimen she selects which will be somewhere between 18 and 30 weeks. Then surgery and radiation, but, we don’t know yet whether the radiation or the surgery will follow chemo. Yep. It’s scary.

Diane before the haircut

Diane before the haircut

Diane after the haircut

Diane after the haircut

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Eye of the Storm

Two of my college roommates, brothers actually, became USAF weathermen after they graduated from college. One of them flew in the back of WC-130 Hurricane Hunters and got to know hurricanes and bad storms up really close and personal. The other moved to Norman, Oklahoma of all places, to be in the center of severe storms where he electronically and probably physically chased tornadoes and where he started a museum about storms! But, me—well, I don’t really know what happens around such storms, so naturally I let my imagination run wild. I’ve always been fascinated by what the eye must be like; I imagine a peaceful, yet tense calm, the proverbial calm before the storm. I also imagine uncertainty as the gray walls of the storm approach and the air becomes denser, closer, threatening.

Waiting must be one of the harder parts of a storm. You want to move on, to be doing something, to take action! You know that big things are about to happen, but the act of waiting is NOT one of those big things. What’s next? When will the calm recede? Where does the road lead?

Delaplane, VA

 Delaplane, VA

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Cancer…one more time.

Six years ago this month, Diane had a tumor removed from her breast followed by a regimen of strong radiation, then chemo, more surgeries, and, finally five years of drug therapy. And all was well. Except, except, except…a few rogue cells apparently decided to have a reunion in the same breast. Fortunately, they’ve been discovered and will soon be made aware that they aren’t welcome, not welcome at all.

Diane was the Wonder Woman of her journey with this disease six years ago and we’re sure that this time will be no different; for this round, however, I sense she will be a cross between Wonder Woman and Jason Bourne, the cancer should be shuddering. We don’t know much about what this is and so she’ll have more tests and procedures next week. She has a superb medical team she sincerely trusts, awesome friends who are supporting and caring for all of us, and most especially a loving family that will help carry one another during this journey.

Streets of DC at night

Lights of DC at night using zoom lens in camera

 

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